I do not consider myself a particularly private person, well when it comes to social media anyway. I am a member of the first class of Facebook after all; I feel free sharing much, if not all, of my daily news. However, as I’ve started journaling in Evernote, I have increasingly wondered why I don’t share those entries here as well and something inside of me shudders at the thought. Perhaps I am not the open book I thought?
I always loved the idea of keeping a journal; I have just never been very good at it. Take my track record with this blog as exhibit A. Lately though I find myself needing to empty my head before bed of everything and anything. My journal entries are disjointed. I jump from topic to topic without seemingly any reason for the jumps. I also subscribe to the school of thought that only the most talented of us can keep a journal and not sound like a total tool when someone else reads it. I am hardly among the most talented and I’d rather not sound like an idiot on the WWW more than I already often do.
As I’ve thought about this more over the last few weeks, I’ve reviewed what I do share through Facebook, Twitter, Instragram and Tumblr and I find that perhaps I am not as open a person as I thought. Well, I am open about certain things. I am the first to shout out about a fandom that I am a proud member of, love sharing pictures of my cat and my travels, update my reading progress etc. But I don’t often say much of substance. I rarely talk about work unless it’s something new from our blog or trivial in passing during the day. I speak about politics only through news articles as I hesitate to share my thoughts there (I can tell you exactly who will be the first to jump down my throat when I go too liberal so I find not opening my mouth at all solves that problem). I sat and stared at a post sharing the fact I’d gone down 2 jean sizes earlier this year before I posted it because, well, was that something I wanted to share? Yes, I liked the praise that came in but I don’t think that is why I wanted to share. I simply wanted a moment to share with the world, someone other than my doctor, that I was getting healthier, that I was doing something good. Or, maybe I did want the praise. That is the problem with social media: are you saying it because you mean it or because you want the attention?
It’s been an interesting thing to think on and to ponder where I fall in the “share everything” camp of today’s world. Perhaps I will get brave enough to share some journal entries eventually (or parts of them) but for now, I’ll keep my journaling out of the public eye.